The never ending Pursuit of Happiness

If you’re one of those people that think you’re incomplete without a partner, don’t worry, you’re not alone, I am a self proclaimed dependant on others for my happiness, lol. Seriously though, I have for the past 9 odd years of my life (keep in mind, I am just turning 24) been searching for happiness in the form of a man, I have gotten it for a few seconds and then it eludes me again. I haven’t understood it though, I toiled, worked hard, did everything I was supposed to do, by the book and all but it still doesn’t work out and believe me, there is no answer to the “WHY” question, because I have asked it a million times.

This has brought me to the conclusion that the only way to true happiness is within one’s self, believe me, as I say it, I don’t believe it either even though I know it’s true. It’s easy to come up with what we are supposed to do and what the right thing is, we are all adults after all and we all have functioning brains but actually carrying out the “right thing”, now that’s where the issue is. Don’t you just hate it when people come over and say;”Dude, what the hell are you doing?” or “Babe, you know you’re going about this all wrong”. When it comes to matters of the heart, there’s no right or wrong thing to do, we usually just go with our gut, this is the one time in life we ignore our brain and go with our heart.
Its only befitting I use my life as an example, if I am going to seem like I know what I am talking about, it has to be seen that I have also gone through it as most of us have. This is a story of my most recent love tragedy.
It was a bright evening and my sisters wanted to go to the store and as the nice big sister (well, sometimes), I drove them over, as they got out I looked around and decided to sit in the car, my hair was jacked up and a scarf was my saving grace, then I saw my friend, hadn’t seen her in ages so I ran into the store after her. While we stood chatting and catching up, some dude comes over saying he couldn’t help but overhear us talking about an exam he just took, I was so excited about finding someone who had taken the exam that I asked for his number, his address and when I could come get the exam materials, I didn’t even go through the proper channels, “let him get your number n all” but hey, I wasn’t even looking at him like that.

He called me the next day and said he was in the area and I could come pick him up so we could go get the books, we got talking and the conversation soon shifted from the exam to “when was the last time you saw a movie”, I hadn’t seen one in ages and my knight in shining armor took it upon himself to change that. On the day of the date, I took my sisters for back up, (still wasn’t looking at him like that though) as I got to the cinema, I saw he also brought his own back up, his friend and his friends younger sister, lol. After the movie, we went out to dinner (I had ditched my sisters at this point) and I think that was when I started looking at him “like that”, he was funny, cute, charming, didn’t usually go for the ones in glasses but what the hell, I was single.


To be continued